Mission: Monkey Business
by Mint Pizza Queen
Summary: It was supposed to be a simple retrieval mission for Naruto and Sasuke. What changed it was the fact that they were chasing a stupid, thieving monkey. ONESHOT. [COMPLETED]


**_Author's Note:_** _Sorry for the lack of updates. I have been slacking in fanfiction, but my graphics making and tutorial writing was at an all-time high. (Sweatdrops) So, yeah, hope you all had a great new year, and stuff. XD So anyone have **Naruto: Uzumaki Chronicles, **the video game? Well if you do, you should know exactly where this idea came from. (Hinthint: GET THE GAME!!) Now I shall end the shameless advertisement. All right, where's my half of the profit? (Stalks after boss-man-sir). Anyway, this story is fast paced--so keep up._

**_Warning:_** _Randomness and uh--monkeys.._

**_Notes:_** _Story idea inspired by scene from the Naruto: Uzumaki Chronicles video game. _

**_Disclaimer:_** _Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto_

* * *

**Mission: Monkey Business  
**by _Mint Pizza Queen_

"Okay, this is the stupidest thing that I have ever heard," Sasuke harrumphed with annoyance. "Why the hell do we have to track down a bunch of--monkeys?"

Naruto rolled up the scroll with an exasperated sigh before turning to the dark-haired ninja with a forced smile on his face. "As I said, the monkeys stole stuff from some guy in that village we just left."

"...isn't that what animal control officers are for?"

Naruto blinked at him.

The Uchiha sighed. "Never mind."

"So I am figuring this," Naruto dug out a map and unrolled it, pointing to a spot on the map highlighted in orange. "This is where the monkeys normally hang out. I think we could chase them there and nab 'em."

"Oh yes."

"Oh yes what?" The blonde looked up with a raised eyebrow.

"Let's chase them. It'll only get them even more paranoid than they are already, and as an added bonus, we get to hike along this entire path!" Sasuke drew his finger along the thick brown line, which was nearly across the entire paper.

"Oooh," Naruto puffed his cheeks up before stuffing the scroll into his pack. "Suck it up, Uchiha!" He then began to stomp loudly through the forest, snapping twigs loudly and kicking rocks savagely.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and followed the blonde.

-----

"Let's take a break, it's time for lunch." Naruto flopped down onto a patch of moss and opened up his pack eagerly. He eagerly shoved his hand into his pack and drew out a cup of his ramen. "Oh yeah! Ramen!"

Suddenly, a screech sounded from the tree and the ramen cup disappeared from the tan hand.

If there was ever a time to laugh at Naruto, this wasn't the time.

But Sasuke did anyway, and found himself with a face full of dirt as Naruto stomped him into the ground.

"BASTARD! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LAUGHING AT!? SURE, NOW OF ALL TIMES YOU LAUGH WHEN I AM IN BIG TROUBLE!"

The blonde whirled and glared into the trees, catching sight of the thief.

It was a monkey.

But not just any monkey--

--it was the monkey they were in pursuit of.

Naruto's eyes gleamed. "Sasuke! It's the monkey we're after!"

Sasuke spat dirt and glared at the furry heathen.

The monkey made an odd chirping noise at them. Naruto waved slowly at the monkey. "Hey Mr. Monkey, now how about handing down that ramen and that sack there, hmm?"

The critter blinked at him before screeching loudly and proceeded to tear the ramen cup into a thousand little pieces of foam, and dried noodles.

The blonde's eyes widened into outrageous proportions as he watched in horror as his beloved ramen was assaulted.

The monkey threw the scraps to the ground before doing a quick dance on the branch.

Naruto instantly went into battle-mode. "YOU LITTLE MONSTER!" He pointed a finger. "I'LL WHOMP YOUR BUTT!"

The monkey did a twist in the air, landing with its back to them before it proceeded to smack its own rump, all the while cackling.

Naruto lunged into the trees with an enraged howl. The monkey shot off through the branches with a screech of laughter.

Sasuke merely sighed and began his walk back to the village.

-----

It was several hours later when the two shinobi met. Naruto was covered head to toe in scratches and bites, and was quite dirty. Sasuke raised an eyebrow at his disheveled appearance, and then quirked the other eyebrow at the state of his pack.

"So, I take it you didn't catch the monkey."

"No! Damn thing, he caught me off guard and stole my pack! Luckily he dropped it, but the only reason why he dropped it was cause he stole all my ramen out of it!" Naruto clenched his fists while baring his teeth with a hiss. "I'll get my revenge. I swear, one day I'll--"

"There's your friend now."

"YOU!" The blonde whirled and came face to face with the furry animal, who was hanging off a branch with a sadistic monkey-grin planted on its face. "I HATE YOU!"

The monkey swung up onto the branch and pretended to cry. It then looked over its shoulder at the blonde before holding out a container of ramen that appeared unharmed to the blonde.

Naruto looked surprised. "F-for me?"

The monkey nodded.

Naruto reached for it before the monkey whipped it back and shredded it, sending bits of noodles and foam flying in the air.

Sasuke frowned. "Look at that, you're littering."

"Who cares that he's littering, that thing hurt my ramen!" Naruto began to cry. "My ramen's been violated! We should just go back. That idiot of a gambler can get his own things back!"

The monkey and Sasuke actually shared a look of shock. Sasuke finally spoke up. "But--quit now when we've gotten this far?"

"This far! All that we got this far is molested ramen!"

The Uchiha put a hand to his chin. "Maybe we could trade for the items. Maybe give him some food."

"You're thinking about food when you just witnessed a crime against ramen? How can you do think about food at a time like this?"

Sasuke gave him a look. Finally, he reached into his pack and pulled out some of his supplies. He took out a couple of his onigiri before turning back to the monkey. "Trade you. Food for items."

The monkey sniffed before turning up his nose.

The Uchiha growled to himself before adding several more onigiri.

The monkey scampered towards a bush before returning with a small sack. Eagerly, the creature threw the pack at the dark-haired boy before snagging the food for trade and ran off into the trees with them.

Naruto gaped before scowling at Sasuke. "Show off."

"Not really."

"I made the ultimate sacrifice though."

"Whatever."

-----

It was evening by the time they returned to the village. The gambler was extremely grateful and bought them dinner as part of the payment. When they finally had the debts settled and paid, they headed back to the village at a quick pace.

They were in the Hokage's office filing the report in hopes of catching some shuteye before the next day arrived. Naruto signed his name at the bottom of the sheet and yawned.

"Finally, now I can go home and get some sleep--"

There was a knock at the window.

All three figures in the room turned towards the window with curious expressions.

Tsunade smiled. "Oh look, isn't he cute?"

Sasuke smirked. "There's your friend, and look at what he's got."

Naruto's eyes widened in horror.

The monkey waved at him with a cheeky grin before taking off across the rooftops--

--with a box of instant ramen tucked under his arm.

"NO! STUPID MONKEY! I HATE YOU!"


End file.
